Friday, January 4, 2013

What Do You Love About Cava?


One of the things we like to do is answer the question, "What do you love most about Cava?"

Benjamin favorite answer is, "Getting Cava hugs."

Danelle's first reply was, "His smile when he first sees us."  But her most recent answer was, "Because he's Cava.  In the same way that I love Benjamin because he's Benjamin."

I have two: the first was the smile of contentment on his face when I rocked him like a baby and the second happened shortly after our court appearance.  It was when we were waiting in the classroom for some documents to be drawn up for us to sign.  I picked Cava up and he laid his head on my shoulder and began to quietly hum a song.  I kissed his head.  He stopped, looked up at me, smiled, and then put his head back down on my shoulder.  Both tender moments, for me, were those which bonded the two of us together as Papa and son. 

I cherish these moments because, I'll admit, I didn't feel that instant connection that many others who've adopted have written and spoken about.  I prayed that I would instantly know, but that didn't happen when we first saw Cava's photo at the SDA or even after first meeting him. Some of this may have been simply my struggling with letting go of getting a daughter and accepting that God had a son chosen for our family.  I'm glad I did because Cava is part of our family now, even though he hasn't even set foot in our house. 

When the court granted our petition to adopt Cava and everyone was congratulating us, I was full of fatherly pride for our new son.  And I thought of him as my son just as I think of Benjamin as my son.  He was our son even before we went to court.  I knew this as he sat there on the bench next to me and my hand held his little hand and he was right against me, close enough to hear the beating of my heart.

It was so very, very hard leaving him after court.  He is our son and he should be with us. 

We pray for him every night and we count down the days until he will be here.

All of us will be so happy when our son and our brother is home - his home, with his family.

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