After yesterday's meltdown in the lobby of the elementary school where I drop Cava off in the morning, Danelle spoke with the principal about me driving Cava to and from his primary school where he goes for the Newcomer's program instead of dropping him off at his "home" school to catch a bus to his primary school. The principals at both schools worked it out so that I could drop Cava off at his primary school in the morning, which is typically when we have the most problems with him.
As he has for the last few days, Cava told me, "No school." He seemed relieved when I replied, "No, you won't be going to your first school this morning."
I'm convinced that a lot of his fear and frustration there is that he is only in the class for 30 minutes in the morning before he catches the bus that takes him to his primary school and then he returns in the afternoon for around 25 - 30 minutes. He is the only one who is doing that and he's the only one who doesn't speak English.
So it was time to leave and I got both Benjamin and Cava in their coats with their back packs and lunch boxes and out the door to the car. As per our usual routine, we dropped Benjamin off first.
Now, since I'm not taking Cava to his home school, I went from being able to drop him off at 7:40 am to being able to drop him off between 8:15 - 8:30. This meant that after I dropped Benjamin off at his school at 7:30, I had 45 minutes to an hour to kill. Since I was not about to take Cava home again and then try to get him back out to school, I decided just to drive around.
Wanting to have the car ride calm and peaceful, I set my iPod to shuffling only Sara Grove's songs. As God so often does, He provided the right song for the moment and this one was Sara's song "Miracle" off her Invisible Empires album. Very apropos, the song opens:
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
Quiet our hearts for a little while
As I drove around our town, I prayed. First, I started off praying for Cava that he would have a real sense of peace and love. Then I prayed for our family as we struggle through the early adjustments of having this new member become one of us. From there, I began to pray for the children back in the boarding school where Cava was. I could not help but pray especially for T., the 12 year old girl, and V., the 14 year old, who made such an impact on me. God then led me to pray for two families that are over in Ukraine now adopting: the Worths and the Huths (to read more about their journeys, you can go to their blogs http://worthswildride.blogspot.com/ and http://ourukrainianadoption.wordpress.com/, both of which are in our favorites). After I prayed for their families, I began to pray for the Brices and the Littlejohns as they struggle with having to wait for their adoptions to proceed.
All the while I'm praying, Sara Groves is singing "Song For My Sons" (a prayer for her 2 boys), and Cava (for the first car ride that I can remember) is still and quiet. He's not anxiously moving about at all, which is something I have never seen him be before.
The only thing he said was, "Papa, school."
"You're ready to go to school?" I asked.
So we made our way back towards his school and as we are drawing near to it, the song that was so instrumental in our adoption journey, "I Saw What I Saw," came on. As we are struggling to show Cava what it means to love and be loved, I cannot help but feel the impact of the last lines of this song:
Your courage asks me what I'm afraid of
And what I know of love
And what I know of God
This is our goal: to love Cava into not only our family, but, ultimately, the family of God.
When we pulled up to the school, we got out and I walked him inside. The guidance counselor met us at the door and she walked Cava to his class, but before she did, she said, "Say goodbye to your dad, Cava." And Cava did. I bent down and kissed him, "I love you, Cava." And he replied, "Love you, Papa."
You cannot tell me that prayer doesn't work.