Monday mornings aren't my favorite mornings to begin with, but this one started off with my having to go to Cava's school to meet with the head of the school, the head of the program Cava's in, and his teachers. Even though it wasn't about me, I still felt like the kid going to the principal's office, which is something I am not accustomed to. Seated around a table, we discussed how to proceed in the best interests of all and how to deal with Cava's behavioral issues.
Once that was settled, I went to work.
A few hours later, I got the call that I now dread getting. The "Come get your son" call. I felt defeated, to say the least, and it must have shown because one of the department managers that I know from the store I was calling on, asked me how it was going with our adopted son. I told her that I was having to pick him up early from school - again. Not joking in the least, she asked, "Couldn't you return him?"
I was horrified.
This is my child. Not some ill-fitting sweater or shirt of the wrong size or unwanted gift. As nicely as I could, I told her, "No. He's my son."
It angered me that someone would, even in what they might perceive as kindness, suggest sending a child back to the orphanage he came from.
No, these two months since Cava came here have not been easy, as previous blog entries can attest to, but that does not diminish our love for a little boy who desperately needs to be loved.
Adoption is not easy and it's not always pretty. It is a roller-coaster of emotions and it's exhausting. But does that mean we just give up on a child because the last two months aren't a picnic?
It's interesting that all of this should happen the day after the Sunday when our growth group (a new term for Sunday school group) were taking up Galations 4:1-7. To quote part of them, "But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under law, that we might receive the adoption as sons.
And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying, "Abba, Father!" Therefore you are no longer a slave, but a son, then an heir of God through Christ."
Normally I'm not one to speak up, but I found myself compelled to this time. Here's what I said:
When we went before the Ukrainian court to petition them to have Cava as our son, one of the main things that we were asked repeatedly and in different forms was, "Will you treat Cava equally to your son Benjamin?" They asked if he would be loved the same, receive the same benefits, schooling, and would be an heir to our inheritance (Poor thing) the same as Benjamin. Now, we offered Cava the opportunity to become a member of our family, but just as with salvation, Cava had the opportunity to reject what was offered to him. When the judge asked if he wanted to be adopted by us, if Cava had said no, then the judge would have closed the case and we would have left without Cava. Because he accepted our adopting him, he became a joint-heir with Benjamin and we would love him just as we do Benjamin.
I know my voice cracked with emotion as I spoke, because I'm very passionate about adoption, especially since it has given me more of an insight into the heart of God. Although I must admit, if I had to sacrifice my own son to adopt another, I couldn't have done it.
So, no, I would never consider "returning" Cava any more than I would seriously consider going back to Gaston Memorial and asking them what their return policy was on Benjamin. Cava is no less a son to us than Benjamin.
God chose Cava for us. He has a much bigger plan and, while we can't see all of that just now, we trust in Him and know that He will help us get through these difficult and trying times.
We know that Cava is our son. He may not have been born to us but he was born for us.
No matter what, he is and always will be our son.