Sunday, April 28, 2013
One thing I have learned about having an adopted son is that it is all about the small victories.
Back when we first started the behavioral chart, they tended to be heavy on the "X's" and light on the stickers (for good behavior). As time progressed, we watched as the behavioral charts became a balance of both. Each week, however, I prayed and prayed and prayed that we would have a week that was nothing but stickers. Week before last, Cava had a week that only had two "X's" on it and I was excited and hopeful. We knew Cava could do it and, this past week, he finally did. We are so proud that Cava had his first of, what we hope is many more, all stickers week. From the photo, you can see how proud he is of his achievement as well.
Along with this victory, last week, when I dropped Cava off at his school one morning, Ms. W., his teacher informed me that Ms. Scarborough, her assistant, was out sick. I left and went to work, but my thoughts were still with Cava and school. Typically, when one of his teachers are out, that is when Cava tends to act out in an attempt to get attention. Thankfully, I didn't get a call telling me I needed to come and pick Cava up. Still, when I went to pick him up from school, I was still highly nervous about what Ms. W. was going to tell me. To my delight, she told me that not only did Cava do his classwork, but he also helped her. She said that he was her best student that day. Upon hearing this, I wanted to cry, hug Ms. W, and celebrate all at the same time! I was so excited to hear news like this after the last few months we've had.
These small victories are achievements we cherish greatly because it means that Cava is not only changing but that he is growing, developing, understanding and, more importantly, developing a sense of peace and love.
I also know that Cava needs this because he gets validation from his achievements. Holding up this behavioral chart covered in stickers was a huge step for him. I could see from his expression that he understood that this meant he could do it. Before, he beat himself up for his inability to contain his anger and aggression. He was talking about himself as "pogano." Now he can see himself as something else, as a child who is capable of stopping, thinking about what he should do, and acting accordingly. This is a huge step for him and I will treasure this behavior chart like a first place trophy because, for Cava, it is.